Because We Didn't Look Back

by Jacob Earl

/
  • Streaming + Download

    Includes high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more. Paying supporters also get unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app.
    Purchasable with gift card

      name your price

     

1.
Kaleidoscope 03:04
Mother night is choking behind a sky of white and red Putin's kaleidoscope trains on the stars again Season's pleasure, we smoke ten times a day Indeed we will repeat it indefinitely Morality never paid This war is under guise of entertaining If we tried to explain it, our friendship just might fall apart And it just might fade away Country, Lake, and we traded for Something we can't describe anymore Part time jobs and full time dreams Dreams point us in the right direction All of this, all of this All of this is just a reflection It's just a reflection
2.
Fifty 06:08
you’ve lived eighteen thousand, two hundred and fifty days… passed on the wisdom of the ages to the kids you’ve raised. i cannot verify if what I’ve been told is a lie; life gets better after fifty? maybe you can shed some light you speak from experience you can see the end without so much interference. i want you to tell me why life gets better and then you die; life gets better after fifty? i hope that i look as good as you when I am fifty too and maybe the wisdom of the ages will prove this life is just a practice run, will prove this life is just a… i want to live forever if it just keeps getting better, so tell me life gets better life gets better after fifty.
3.
Pictures 03:37
these pictures of you they paint a thousand words they tell me your life story stories I’ve never heard they are the memories that have joined me in my mind i feel as though I know the you you somehow left behind these pictures you took I’ve never seen such pretty views and the ones of you, that look makes me fall in love with you Oh just pictures But snapshots in the past In a split second Refracted by the glass These pictures black and white Searing with your tempting tones I can see that you’re not frightened But restrained by the subtle unknowns How can these pictures compare To the true form that is moving The life that I am sharing Beyond the frame measured with care Oh just pictures But snapshots in the past They are our memories That our bodies won’t outlast
4.
down on the river she sat out on the raft the current deliberate had her trapped she didn’t seem to fight it she didn’t seem to care i wondered if she noticed i wondered if i could make it there in time in time in time in time my feet felt frozen frozen to the ground i lifted with all my might like lead they fell back down to the ground but somehow I moved forward like in slow motion movies at the drive in the monster’s creeping out of the lagoon i won’t get there in time before it rips her in two... what can I do? what can I do? and all of sudden I’m lunging cold and wet and gasping and reaching out and grasping without even thinking i haul her back to land up the bank, through the scrub i lay her on the sand i tilt her head back and hold her, lifeless in my hands hold her lifeless in my hands hold her lifeless in my hands my mouth feels dry everything empties out before my eyes i slowly stand up and walk away i wish i could forget this day i wish i could forget this day...
5.
Lattice 02:56
6.
Soulstice 02:27
in the evenings we sit quiet trading our thoughts i like spending this time with you the bond between us seems to grow i don’t know what the future holds i hope you are there you make everything gold in my soul i know i found you for a million reasons everyday they show
7.
Baggage 02:17
Gentle nagging In the back of my head Leaves me edgy It’s the baggage I dread Not stuck at the airport Tucked under my arm This way I can trust It will come to no harm But I would purposely leave It behind if I could Rip the heart off my sleeve Shoved in a locker would be good Where no one will find Cause to be unkind Shrug it behind, Hide in my hood But walking away Isn’t the way to heal wounds In twenty shades of grey Bursting our balloons And out fly the memories Like candy from a piñata Playing out in a semi-frieze Every piece that matters And that is when I know I’ll leave the candy on the floor And place the baggage there too I don’t need it since I got you.
8.
9.
Side Door 08:48
outside the side door the moment is frozen cold snap taken over I held it together for the end of the show now St. Pat’s sits empty looks so peaceful in the snow but the chains on the doors tell us what they know accidents happen the steeple stands but the church bell doesn’t ring anymore it was out of our hands; nothing but cold outside the side door… inside the side door the hall is warm pleasant home presents no harm and as we sit in solace wonder what will face us when the doors open wide and we have nothing left to hide… accidents happen the steeple stands but the church bell doesn’t ring anymore it was out of our hands; nothing but cold outside the side door.
10.
Send Me 06:35
You send me high
11.
Tao = Te 07:14
you were always connected to your inner peace when I got angry and ran head on into the wall you somehow picked me up after the fall you were always the Tao and I was the te somehow that got switched around between the night and day you say go with the flow you say wu sei i say I’m too bound by my need to stand my ground sometimes anger is the only way you were always respected in your inner circle when I got tired and ran head on into the fire you somehow picked me up after i expired you say go with the flow you say wu sei i say I’m too bound by my need to stand my ground sometimes anger is the only way you were always the east and I was the west somehow that got turned around and maybe it’s for the best
12.
Lullabye 02:43
13.
In my dreams last night I was visited by the muses They came to me to do what was right I had run out of excuses They treated me like the devil You treated me like an angel They wanted to send me to Hell You only wanted to make me whole Because we didn't look back We didn't see what we'd become We almost lost each other there Before we had even ever begun In my dreams I turned Back into the boy I was before And everything I had learned I somehow didn't know anymore It made me feel so innocent And cherished by your love Because we didn't look back since then I can never get enough I can never get... Because we didn't look back We didn't see what we'd become We almost lost each other there, my dear Before we had even ever begun Because we didn't look back Because we didn't look back

about

Feel it all slipping away. But don't look back. Ever.

credits

released December 27, 2005

license

tags

about

Jacob Earl Ottawa, Ontario

Independent DIY queer producer/songwriter/photog.

contact / help

Contact Jacob Earl

Streaming and
Download help

Shipping and returns

Report this album or account

If you like Jacob Earl, you may also like: