Chop Off The Head

by Jacob Earl

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1.
Dark Dreams 02:57
You wake up From the dark dreams You're coming Apart at the seams Starving For emotional Nourishment The reason The dreaming Came and went A little bird Gave you These three words: Don't Lose Yourself You wake up From the dark dreams You're coming Apart at the seams Lions and tigers and bears Oh my Lions and tigers and bears Sleepwalking daily You're barely getting by Lions and tigers and bears A little Voice Inside your head Says: This is the moment You always, always dread You wake up From the dark dreams You're coming Apart at the seams
2.
Brain Heart 03:16
Sleep off the heat Sleep off the pain Sever the strings From your heart to your brain Sleep in the streets Sleep in the trees Your heart hasn't mended From the dark dreams Open your eyes Open your mind What a new day brings You didn't learn to be so kind The irony haunts you The iron in your veins The blood is a tool gone to rust Broken brains Leave a reminder Don't you forget about me Lust is a blinder With a finder's fee Oh there's a thread It whispers thru your veins What it brings from your Id All of your gains Lie in the river Lie in the lake Lie to yourself About what it'll take Open your eyes Open your mind What a new day brings You didn't learn to be so kind Memory's a remnant Potential bubblin' thru I got your back, love I just can't remember you Pain is just an impulse Pain is just a word On a scale of one to fuck How much do you hurt? Open your eyes Open your mind What a new day brings You didn't learn to be so kind
3.
Oh I'm waiting I'm waiting for a finer day A finer day And it's coming And as soon as it does I'll be ready Hold steady It just grows back If you chop off the head How could it all go wrong? How could it all go wrong? How could it all go wrong? How did it all go wrong? How could it all go wrong? How did it go wrong? How did it go wrong? Aw no I hate you But tonight I could love you, I could leave you Cuz our brains are our hearts Pulse slower, it's softer Than a bull rush Your tender parts Your sanguine cry for help I don't understand how to save you Too much For my mental health I know I know I know How this turns out How could it all go wrong? How could it all go wrong? How could it all go wrong? How did it go all wrong?
4.
5.
Hello, Mate 03:48
Hello mate Meet me at the ending Hello love Am I trending? Hello mate Meet me at the ending Hello love Am I trending? Hello mate Meet me at the ending Hello love Am I trending? Hello mate Meet me at the ending Hello love I don't wanna do this Art anymore I just take it and ruin it Trying to keep score In desperation Filling the hole It's empty sensations For an empty soul I don't want to feel it Rap about my pain No mystery to this shit And nothing more to gain Old people know What I hope to behold Whether I get to go on And reach my goals Hello mate Meet me at the ending Hello love Am I trending? Hello mate Meet me at the ending Hello love Am I trending? I didn't want to make it Have this career It's all my effort not to quit Loathing rolled in fear I put on a sweater I put on a mask Life doesn't get better Just a string of tasks I don't want to be me Stuck in this skin It leaves a mark, you see Like a secret sin Stuck in a body I didn't choose pain No apologies Every body the same Hello mate Meet me at the ending Hello love Am I trending? Hello mate Meet me at the ending Hello love Am I trending? Shiver me timbre A bit overused A loose cannon On a short fuse A throbbing pulse In my ears The tinnitus of silence For the rabbit fears Hello mate Meet me at the ending Hello love Am I trending? Hello mate Meet me at the ending Hello love Am I trending?
6.
Open Wound 01:12
Suture my incision I had a future vision A bright hallucination Of the death of humankind It wasn't dark and criminal No dystopic liminal Jus' the quiet final sigh Of the daily grind Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo Doo doo doo doo doo Suture my incision I had a future vision A bright hallucination Of the death of humankind It wasn't dark and criminal No dystopic liminal Jus' the quiet final sigh Of the daily grind
7.
Little Fears 04:23
Forget about it Forget about it Forget about it Forget about it Put on a costume Put on a show The little fears I don't wanna know Forget about the hounds Lousy clowns Safety in numbers Dangerous liaisons, fuckers I'm just the other sucker Fucker who love ya Fool yourself But not me, lover Put on a costume Put on a show The little fears You don't wanna know Eleanor Of Aquitaine Breathe, adore Cleanse my pain Yr fighting for A new crusade Yr the patron We all need Put on a costume Put on a show The little fears I don't wanna know
8.
Secret Skin 04:25
Morning's upon ya A Benzene ring A moebius loop Where you play second string Made yr best years A sacrifice Chopped of yr ears With a butterfly knife Raised with abandon Harbour a care What you had yr hand in You did it with flair I'm an outsider Forgiven but gone When I was the fighter Is when I was wrong Elementary, dear Watson I poisoned the well Under the hot sun Under a spell The devil made me do But he didn't say how I cried away the clues And I'm empty now Raising the Kraken Dreams of the deep Fall never happens If you never leap Sentiments you share Any other day Contextually aware You hate you this way I got a secret skin I got a secret skin I'm hiding within I got a secret skin But I never did right by you So what's the dif? Every time I fight with you I deepen the rift I see the light in you Shrouded by secret Inside there's a quiet truth You always keep it To yourself and no one else No one deserving Just can't help yourself Or stop me from learning The things that you hide On the inside A secret skin Is always curving I got a secret skin I got a secret skin I'm hiding within I got a secret skin Petunias on ya Shades in the garden Kiss you with a fine tooth Pardon my grammar Up in the branches Sewing up patches Skies like an antelope Running from tigers The more he catches The slower I recover A recipe for extinction Never discovered A cry for the forests Never been blessed A motley band Overdressed Batten the hatches Devil on stilts The more he catches The further I tilt The blessing keeps coming But it always means less You stripped the value With a single caress Green and black Smoke on the blues Enter the solo Missing the cues Quality you look for In a significant other All your confessions Brought to your brother
9.
Wood Dogs 01:10
Clusters of clay Upon my face The mud of my arms You feel the same If this is the life We may soon pick death Or it will farm us For its nourishment Clusters of pain From a race The blood on my arms The wars we wage If this is life We may soon wanna die The choices left us No surprises Wood dogs
10.
You waited too long You waited too long You waited too long You waited too long I put my head in the game But you waited too long You waited too long You waited too long I put my head in the game There's no way to explain You waited too long Everything went wrong All the love sacrificed You did it right I wouldn't complain I put my hope in the fame If you chop off the head Doesn't mean that it's dead If you waited too long I just waited too long I just waited too long I just waited too long I just waited too long We just waited too long All the love sacrificed You did it right I wouldn't complain I put my hope in the fame If you chop off the head Doesn't mean that it's dead If you chop off the head Doesn't mean that it's dead I just waited too long I just waited too long I just waited too long I just waited too long We just waited too long
11.
Sleeping pills Midnight stills Naked tents Morning chills It's not that I don't deserve this Decisions and such were made And anyway I told the truth And fear does not keep me away It's not to say I sleep so much As I have cherished my mistakes And rub the dust into my shoulders In ornamental display Sleeping pills Midnight stills Naked tents Morning chills It's not that I'm not a fan The starlit sky's adorable But the not-so-great outdoors differs When every door's unaffordable And the path is likely avoidable But it's trickier to undo And the stories told bring no comfort When the ghost of them is you Sleeping pills Midnight stills Naked tents Morning chills
12.
Borealis 01:42
Bold constellations Dripping down your back I ignited temptations Hidden in the cracks Leave behind the valour You painted years ago Colours pale and sour How could you know? Buried in the sand Buried in my heart Hold them in your hand Galaxies apart Aurora Borealis Stars to wish upon Never superstitious Til the day you're gone
13.
Lessons 03:54
Time for a confession Brains gone bad Haven't learned my lessons Lost the will I had If the politics don't kill me Maybe the cancer will The music no longer fills me But I make it still Time for a recession Austerity measures high Sink into depression Fuck your will to lie Maybe you throw in the towel Maybe you get dry Maybe lesson's foul When your heroes die of suicide When your heroes die of suicide When your heroes die of suicide Time to question All your past mistakes The last bastion Of a hypocritical fake If you ever said I'm sorry Could I reconcile? We'd be hunky dory Living in denial Time to get some answers They always come with a price You died of cancer That wasn't nice Maybe there's a God Maybe I get well Maybe this path well-trod Leads us all to Hell Time for a confession Brains gone bad Haven't learned my lessons I'm just a cad Time to get some answers They always come with a price You died of cancer That wasn't nice Time to question All your past mistakes The last bastion Of a hypocritical fake
14.
All Dressed 03:55
Clockwork soldier At 6:00 a.m. Repeat every day A ritual gem Twenty years later Learning to cope But eighteen earlier Gave up hope You layer it on All of the flavours But nothing could mask it No, nothing could mask it The bland behaviours Aw, you layer it on You layer it on You can taste the memory But the feeling's gone The feeling is gone
15.
Bronson 03:13
Dressed all in black I'm your biggest fan Of course I came to see you I had a master plan Oh oh Bronson Oh oh Bronson Oh oh Bronson Dear John I give you my demo Maybe you hear me play We record a duet or two And go on tour someday Oh oh Bronson Oh oh Bronson Oh oh Bronson Dear John I would ride your tails I don't even mind Even if I failed That would be just fine Oh oh Bronson Oh oh Bronson Oh oh Bronson Dear John

about

Chop Off The Head was written and recorded between March and November 2019. It is a concept piece about depression, neurodivergence, and bad brains.

credits

released November 11, 2019

All songs produced, written, recorded, and performed by Jacob Earl
except
Ghost Stories Part 1 and 2: written, recorded, and performed by Jacob Earl and Adam Selene.

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about

Jacob Earl Ottawa, Ontario

Independent DIY queer producer/songwriter/photog.

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