March Hawk

by Jacob Earl

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1.
Aww yes it's the MARCH HAWK Here to serve you stock sound electric shock It's the beat Chop shop Coming at you from the end of the Kitchissippi block Aww yes I'm the Top Of the pops I break bread in my head with the Aesop Rocks I dream big Amount to little You can work the O-town; it'll always leave you brittle As peanut Butter And I shudder To think what I'd be doing if I wasn't a beat-cutter.
2.
hey O-town, 2012 is here now tell me, have you heard about my rap career? I'm here, I'm here, I'm queer King Lear be a dear and listen while I kick it, high gear March Hawk is on the scene tearing it up like Prince meets Queen marching you down the perfect song we will rock you all night long put your finger on the pulse move your feet, let's do a salsa everyone shake their somethin' somethin' don't make me crank this up for nothin' props, props to Paul Anka shake it, Caroline, thank ya, thank ya Ottawa's gettin' a special treat Kitchissippi-stylez, beat by beat hold me close, pull me near haven't you heard about my rap career? I'm clean, I’m clear, I don't drink beer just like this naturally, wicked and weird. hey O-town, 2012 is here now tell me, have you heard about my rap career? I'm here, I'm here, I'm queer as fuck now pay attention while i really suck March Hawk in on the scene March Hawk ain't lean and mean i've got a beer belly without the beer i've got a story to tell ya, near and dear once upon a time i was from T-dot came to O-town when i was just a tot been tellin' all the secrets ever since O-town scene needs all my hints I shake it, shake it, give ya beats fresh and free aural treats I got tight words that i just don't mince so sour on your soul, you need breath mints Small town, big town, it's all the same black or white if you play the game throne room, green room, figure of speech; you're here to learn, I’m here to teach
3.
OC Remix 03:29
Hand show Hand show Hand show Hand show Fuck ton of fun Fuck ton of fun Hand show Oh boy, who cares? Fuck ton of fun Hand show Fuck ton of fun Oh boy, who cares? Fuck ton of fun Fuck ton of fun Fuck ton of fun Like whoa! Hand show Hand show Hand show Hand show Hand show Hand show Fuck ton of fun Fuck ton of fun Hand show Oh boy, who cares? Fuck ton of fun Hand show Fuck ton of fun Oh boy, who cares? Fuck ton of fun Fuck ton of fun Fuck ton of fun Like whoa!
4.
Eleven long years ago I had no pension yet So I went to Vanier Towers to work; Just a three month contract The other side of Riverain park I thought I had it pretty good And i was getting paid better than i probably should have But it made me feel like i was slowly giving up the ghost And a decade later I'm still locked in that post Unwrap my life There's so much more than this I ain't no slave to love or civil bliss But my beautiful wife Her tender kiss I ain't got no regrets or bucket list I cut my teeth on Vanier Towers Asbestos, cafeteria food, and 37.5 hours Scabbing across the picket line I'm not proud of myself, but I'm doing fine I've grown a lot more bristle A little more gristle A lot less pistol Somewhat less sizzle Unwrap my life There's so much more than this I ain't no slave to love or civil bliss But my beautiful wife Her tender kiss I ain't got no regrets or bucket list
5.
Bells Corners, baby! Ottawa's finest getting torn down for more Timmy's lineups first went Burger King that ain't no big thing Whopper bite you back gonna make you regret eating then went the KFC tragedy! stick a fork in me now how do i get my daily fix on the Colonel's secret recipe? Bye bye, Vox Lounge Bye bye Hooters now how will i get my fill of boobies and shooters? Goodbye Pizza Hut, Sayonara Steamed Rice hello indoor mini-putt but where do i get a slice? Bells Corners, baby! Ottawa's finest getting torn down for more Timmy's lineups west side, motel don't ask, don't tell you ain't seen nothing 'til you Best-Westernized in the Bell one long strip o' run down mini malls sports pubs, fixer-uppers, fast food stalls commercial, industrial, new residential row house, co-op, suburban heavy metal Bells Corners, baby! Ottawa's finest all getting torn down for more Timmy's lineups Bells Corners, baby! Always on fire burning with suburban decay and desire
6.
There's a place that I like to go Up the path, against the river floe Hidden away by a copse of trees Full of turtles and Canada geese We don't get to get away too much We don't get vacation nearly enough But Mud Lake ain't out of our reach Just this side of Britannia Beach (oh Mud Lake) let's go on a bike ride together (our weekend getaway) it's early in the morning, just the right weather (Mud Lake) we'll visit the ducks and the friendly nuthatch (the perfect Saturday) you and me, baby, are the perfect match I am strolling on the river shore I am loving you more and more The trees embrace us on the muddy floor The leaves taste us and our hearts just soar You've got me wrapped around your thumb In my head is comfortable thrum The birds sing to us from above I've never been so in love (oh Mud Lake) let's go on a bike ride together (our weekend getaway) it's early in the morning, just the right weather (oh Mud Lake) we'll visit the ducks and the friendly nuthatch (the perfect Saturday) you and me, baby, are the perfect match There's a place that I like to lie With you while we stare at the sky The clouds are saying I’m the luckiest guy To have you here, by my side We don't get to get away too much We don't get vacation nearly enough But Mud Lake ain't out of our reach Just this side of Britannia Beach (oh Mud Lake) let's go on a bike ride together (our weekend getaway) it's early in the morning, just the right weather (oh Mud Lake) we'll visit the ducks and the friendly nuthatch (the perfect Saturday) you and me, baby, are the perfect match (oh Mud Lake) let's go on a bike ride together (our weekend getaway) it's early in the morning, just the right weather (oh Mud Lake) we'll visit the ducks and the friendly nuthatch (the perfect Saturday) you and me, baby, are the perfect match (oh Mud Lake) let's go on a bike ride together (our weekend getaway) it's early in the morning, just the right weather (oh Mud Lake) we'll visit the ducks and the friendly nuthatch (the perfect Saturday) you and me, baby, are the perfect match
7.
I’m working on my hands and knees In the dirty garden of my dreams I’m in the trenches, sowing seeds I’m down in the dirt, I’m digging up weeds Since I arrived here, I am more at peace Than I have ever felt with my inner beast And I wonder why it matters to me Whether I control my Hyde or let it break free Sometimes I’m kicking up trouble Other times I let sleeping dogs lie I’m Paul Simon, I’m the boy in the bubble; I got fifty ways to leave you high and dry I’m Thom Yorke, I’m the Karma police I’m the subterranean homesick John Cleese I’m Monty Python meets Freddie Mercury I’m the killer queen of the Kitchissippi I'm Tom Cruise, I'm mission impossible I'm such risky business, I ain't machine washable. This rap fabric too threadbare to launder The words are worn down, but it's too late to ponder I’m working on my hands and knees In the dirty garden of my dreams I’m in the trenches, sowing seeds I’m down in the dirt, I’m digging up weeds This is life and I’m not disappointed But I’m scared of dying before I get to the point of it Please let me in on the secret I don’t wanna wait, I wanna go out and seek it I’m the luckiest man in the whole O-town When I have your arms wrapped around me I rap even when I’m feeling down To remind me that I’m so happy you found me I'm Thom Yorke, I'm the homesick alien I'm a fitter, happier Robert Allen Zimmerman I'm a rolling stone and Frank Zappa I'm really rappin', it's really happening Mother of invention, I don't even care My best laid intentions left me bare I'm the O-town answer to Okkervil River Kitchissippi life on the starry stairs I’m the guy at the back of theatre I’m the one fan clapping when the credits rolls At the afterparty, I’ll see you later And invite you out for a sordid stroll It's not a movie, I'm sippin’ tea Watching you slowly undress for me The sun is slipping below the trees I love you so much, Kitchissippi I’m working on my hands and knees In the dirty garden of my dreams I’m in the trenches, sowing seeds I’m down in the dirt, I’m digging up weeds The greatest tale never told Is the one about the two of us growing old In Kitchissippi, life’s a beach But only because you’re within my reach. Sometimes I’m kicking up trouble Other times I let sleeping dogs lie I’m Paul Simon, I’m the boy in the bubble; I got fifty ways to leave you high and dry I’m Tom Wilson, I'm the rodeo king I’m a Junkhouse, I'm Garbage, I'm everything to everyone, I'm Art Alexakis I'll buy you a new life 'cause I'm paid to fake it I’m working on my hands and knees In the dirty garden of my dreams I’m in the trenches, sowing seeds I’m down in the dirt, I’m digging up weeds Since I arrived here, I am more at peace Than I have ever felt with my inner beast And I wonder why it matters to me Whether I control my Hyde or let it break free
8.
Mechanicsville Walk up the hill If you wanna stick around Just take the blue pill All the dreams You have yet to fulfil But i'm gentrifying your borough, Still My blood is the blood That's gonna spill When the fine young cannibals Move in for the kill Hintonburner Fresh page-turner Eat up your meat You're a fool, fast learner Famished and furnished for a Front page spread Garnished, condiments In your bed I am the teacher, I am the best At least, this side Of Wellington West Walk the dog Buy a fat cat Ride your boss hog To the laundromat Somerset Equally cursed and blessed Stay, my pet; Be my guest Mechanicsville Clean up the spill Built to last; Trained to kill All the nightmares Keeping you up all night Up the endless flight of stairs Keep to the right You'll find that the diners Are full of rude diners And nothing is finer Than a fast food fight Hintonburner Always tip your server Eat up your meat 'Til you get even curvier Sated for once By the salty spread Your stomach is still Smaller than your head I am the preacher I am the choir Get to the basilica Your pants are on fire Feel the heat Of the deep fat fryer Bellow out the news, You're the town crier Keep the fires burning Keep the fires burning Hey When the KFC closed It left a vacancy No posh joint could fill panic in Mechanicsville Stand still development Elements of the land fill Elephants of the graveyard Coffee shops that take cards Bicycle cops Rifle through nice little shops Where prices will drop Never Not ever Whether you like it or not Vegan baby strollers Strollers for vegan babies Overachieving ladies Doing Yoga in sleeping bags Eating eggs Benedict Feminists Reading magazines On all the vagaries And not one beggar seen Unique Items in boutiques Find them and buy them It's hide 'n seek Put a little flag on your lawn It's gone after Pride week Heirloom cupcakes We sell those in boxes Next door to where the store That sells cellphones for dogs is Bridal shops gone Gothic You want it you got it Go get it, I buy it Broke motherfuckers be quiet! Burner
9.
The Glebe 03:05
right there, corner of Bank and Fifth best damn pub; better get there quick best dive club just south a bit best live music, that shit is sick arrow and loon, get back there soon we'll walk two blocks, get a pizza too don't settle man, kettleman's 'cross the street 24/7 man, bagel's my treat next stop, pit stop, the Papery gotta pick up some stationary send ya scrawls on summer stock thank ya, thank ya, for crankin' March Hawk right near corner of Bank and Third get to the Oak, you filthy nerd get to the corner bar and grill get right crunked; drink your fill head cross the street for a midnight fix meet me for snacks or nicotine sticks nah nevermind, i quit long ago let's go downtown for late night pho right here, corner of Bank and First get your Hawk, quench your thirst i'm standing in the Glebe waiting for love wrong place, wrong time, not posh enough
10.
South Keys 05:03
South Keys Ottawa, please! Still the beauty backside of the 6-1-3 still the first and still the best from Hunt Club to Pinecrest from ivory skin purely applied with zest you'll never feel fully clean everything you were hunting for every day you want it more and more from big box to silverscreen and everything in between Walmart to Bulk Barn my heart says darn i missed the blockbuster while i was spinning this yarn it's the karma farm i'm getting hooked on big pharm no worries, in the keys you can't possibly come to harm it's the future, it's the past it's the greatest shopping day since the last i'm going to see another flick with my favourite cast i'm tripping on post-consumer philosphy i'm going nuts at the bulk barn see take the o-train to retail glee it's all so cheap it's practically free South Keys! Ottawa, please! Let's get some grits and grease at one of the last Denny's we'll begin a new chapter of sleaze stop, drop, and shop now when i say “freeze!” i recommend a game of last man standing in the aisle everyone file to the cash register please now everyone on your toes there's a sale at Globo, and i know their all outta your size in those leather knee-highs it's just a tease! Don't try to squeeze into a smaller pair i know, it's not fair let's just go get a bite at Kelsey's... oh South Keys...

about

Originally released in July 2012 under the album title "Kitchissippi Life", the first March Hawk album was a glitch-rap-folk project about life in Ottawa.

credits

released July 31, 2012

Produced, written, and recorded by Jacob Earl.
Additional lyrics/vox by Jesse Dangerously and Little MAC.

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Jacob Earl Ottawa, Ontario

Independent DIY queer producer/songwriter/photog.

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