Silly Little Sacrifices

by Jacob Earl

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1.
Sway 04:10
I got progressive specs I got Gucci eyes It was a birthday present to myself So I could see through the disguise Superman in reverse I ain't bulletproof today I can't leap any tall buildings But I know how to sway Perfect comic timing Thanks for the applause Clap when you are satisfied Clap just because I'm a hard nut to crack But not for will I lack Wasn't it you who taught me Best defense is a good attack Slow dance Break backs Shake hands Slow dance Slow dance Break backs Shake hands Silly little sacrifices For not a lot of gain We put our faith in vices Barely holding back the pain I'm ok with compromise I'm ok with loss I'm ok with bad advice If I know what's the cost I've made bad decisions I hold them to my chest I made peace with the shameful revisions I own up to all the rest If you bend, if you ache If you hold out another day Don't crumble, don't break Just sway, just sway Slow dance Break backs Shake hands Slow dance Slow dance Break backs Shake hands
2.
Cock Fights 02:40
Ha! I put my armour on Flightless bird vs Farmer John Sing a song at the crack of dawn Wings longing 'til you're long gone You've got talons razor quick Literally and also like a trick Is this the card you picked? Is this the magic makes you tick? I see you looking at me It stirs the embers down beneath You strut for me to see You make it hard for me to breathe I see you looking at me Cocked your head for a better leer Lascivious though I knew you to be I never thought I'd see your fear Ha! I got my weapons cocked New beats from the record shop Nothing like traditional rock Not even close to hip hop You like to watch me fail Chuffed by the final nail In the coffin of this tale Sorry love, that ship has sailed Two plus two, a pair of traitors You weren't always the hater Fight me now, there is no later All my desires you never cater I see you looking at me It stirs the embers down beneath You strut for me to see You make it hard for me to breathe I see you looking at me Cocked your head for a better leer Lascivious though I knew you to be I never thought I'd see your fear
3.
Unholy Rites 02:42
Light a candle for an unexpected vigil You brought your brother for a lark The most solemn I have ever seen you feel A million flames in the dark; A hundred zealots in the park Oh my goodness I found this home It makes me contemplate my fate We're like two cursed blackbirds Never quite alone We never have to wait It's unholy, the urge to self-destruct Read me my last rites I'm not deluded, I know we're already fucked But nonetheless, I put up a good fight Summon something otherworldly As if it's just another day You get your jollies from subtle cruelty Tragically, that's always been your way
4.
Can you ever get enough Can you ever get enough I killed my brother I killed your brother too I took all boys from their mother That's nothing new The great escape Is no escape at all Can you fall from grace When there's nowhere left to fall The existential joke The only thing I fear That's all, folks The end is always near What's your moral code Where do you draw the line What turns you cold What would change your mind My best was never good enough For dear old dad I rationalize all that stuff So I'm really not that bad My best was never good enough For dear old dad I rationalize all that stuff So I'm really not that bad If you see evil Can you look it in the eye Do you feel needful For the praise from the sky I killed my brother I killed your brother too There is no other It's just me and you My best was never good enough For dear old dad I rationalize all that stuff So I'm really not that bad My best was never good enough For dear old dad I rationalize all that stuff So I'm really not that bad The greatest sin In the pit of my soul Came from within It's just a hole
5.
Brave brave Sir Sadalot Brave brave Sir Sadalot You're not even there You're not even there Sit on your horse a lot Sit on that horse a lot Going nowhere Going nowhere Come have some fun with us Come have some fun with us What would it hurt What would it hurt Oh Lonely Sir Sadalot Lonely Sir Sadalot Come out and play Come out and play Sad sad Sir Sadalot Sad sad Sir Sadalot Just like a ghost At the break of day Come have some fun with us Come have some fun with us What would it hurt What would it hurt Oh Sad sad Sir Sadalot Sad sad Sir Sadalot Business as usual Dressed so casual Lonely Sir Sadalot Lonely Sir Sadalot Come out and play Come out and play Come have some fun with us Come have some fun with us What would it hurt What would it hurt Oh Lonely Sir Sadalot Lonely Sirt Sadalot Come out and play Come out and play
6.
It's the measure of a man Sixteen scars on the back of my hand 45 years of lies and sin but I didn't tell you to let me in Do you want to lie in the dirt Here beside me so we can flirt Dozen years ago you told me Babe I love you, let me in Facts are only useful if You have a lie or two to give You can't have one without the other And I can't tell you how to live Rest in peace here lie in the dirt Sleep is not a dirty word Dreams are not a little death You can always let me in It ain't science No bad or good Nothing's righteous Just bitter blood It ain't science No bad or good Nothing makes it better Just bitter blood Nothing's sacred after dark Meet me at midnight in the old ball park Secrets told behind the pine trees Always to protect your kin Our roots are buried in the same place That's why you're my mirror face You don't have to get your hands dirty I am not your beast within When you turn to habit and ritual The reasons I'm here become fictional I'm not here to prop a martyr No matter how deep the link There's no fighting with your inner self You lose that battle the deeper you delve Fuck the face behind the mask No matter how deep you sink It ain't science No bad or good Nothing is righteous Just bitter blood It ain't science No bad or good Nothing makes it better Just bitter blood Ah our roots are buried in the same soil Fuck it hurts, the blood boils Fuck I hate how I hated myself Why can't I just let you in Our roots are buried in the dirt Fuck the facts that left us hurt This is why I keep my mouth shut When I just want to breathe again It ain't science No bad or good Nothing makes it better Just bitter blood
7.
Lord Who 02:54
Everybody loves a lie Rest your hands on the back of my hips I don't know how to pray All these words in my head I don't know what to say That hasn't already been said The sour taste of dying faster There is nothing by design A God who makes slaves and masters How many times you cross the line Confessions don't wipe the slate The blood drips, always alive Imagine yourself at the pearly gates What did you give up to survive Raise your palms to the sky Mercy means you give a shit Bow your head, shut your eyes Beg forgiveness for all of it Lord who, Lord who Who decides, who decides Who lives Who lives Who dies who dies Lord why Lord why Why the mercy, why the mercy Lord when it's Lord when it's all a lie Your alter ego dressed in black Face a blur in the shadow Plays the piano in the back I told the truth; I had to Mesmerized by quarter notes Deified the slender keys I burned all the letters you wrote The only way to set you free When we meet face to face What you won't anticipate Who stepped in, took your place Everything you abdicate Should I believe forever One day this gets better That's not gonna happen ever That's why I burned yr letters Lord who, Lord who Who decides, who decides Who lives Who lives Who dies who dies Lord why Lord why Why the mercy, why the mercy Lord when it's Lord when it's all a lie Rest yr palm on the holy book Swear to fuck on your name Give back everything you took Fair enough, fair game I'm here to close that chapter Once and for all I'm not waiting for the rapture This is not the final call Lord who, Lord who Who decides, who decides Who lives Who lives Who dies who dies Lord why Lord why Why the mercy, why the mercy Lord when it's Lord when it's all a lie
8.
You take advantage of lovely people You hold onto their hopes A clever word or two with ugly reason You got devoted on your rope Symphonic organs play you in God on the morning show Slow your holy roll in the din Don't tell them everything you know Clap your hands stomp your feet Raise your hands and be saved You twist a parable to purpose Tease out the lies Testament is nourishment Communion with the wise If only you could make it right If the words were oh so true I wouldn't cry to sleep at night Maybe I'd love you Clap your hands stomp your feet Raise your hands and be saved You take advantage of lovely people You hold onto their hopes Slow your holy roll in the din Don't tell them everything you know
9.
Blow Me Down 02:58
Pick up yr feet off of the ground Dust off yr pride, fuck yr frown I haven't yet decided if you're just a clown But I try and I try and you just let me down This is a song about walking down a hallway You never reach the end; it goes on for always It's lined with art of all of your follies To remind you of your permanent pure melancholy Fates conspire to blow me down I can't take the guilt so I wear a martyr's crown All these hypocrisies holding me down Hush, hush, don't make a sound Pick up your tools, we got a job to do It's called towing the line and that's what we do We don't have a lot of shared true But I learned everything, I learned it from you Do what you're told and you don't get hurt I forgot all the words lying in the dirt Something something about meaningful things And the aching loneliness of the songs we sings Fates conspire to blow me down I can't take the guilt so I wear a martyr's crown All these hypocrisies holding me down Hush, hush don't make a sound Fates conspire to blow me down I can't take the guilt so I wear a martyr's crown All these hypocrisies holding me down Hush, hush don't make a sound
10.
Dayz 03:05
Days get shorter as we're nearer the end We meant no harm but we can't pretend Like we didn't see it coming a mile away We ignored the dark for the sake of the day I'm a planner, the compulsive sort I like structure and function and being important I react poorly to change of plans I fall apart when things are out of my hands Why do I pay with time? The days are just a grind I'm a dweller; hell, I'm a worrywort I like art and music, and I'm kinda short I'm agender and queer and the stick in the mud Every day is a dud Why do I pay with time? The days are just a grind I'm a hopeless obsessive who's benefit is doubt Compulsive creator without the clout A thousand times a day reliving a dream That never really happened and didn't mean a thing Days get shorter and the nights get long You thought it was the dark that done me wrong But the cold, cold empty don't bother me As much as the thought of ceasing to be Why do I pay with time? The days are just a grind

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Ten songs about being spiritual and emotional, and kind of hating it.

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released December 31, 2021

Produced, written, recorded, and performed by Jacob Earl.

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Jacob Earl Mississippi Mills, Ontario

Independent DIY queer producer/songwriter/photog.

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