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The Holy Fire

by Jacob Earl

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1.
You smoked a cigarello The heat leaked up my lungs The taste laced with ginger and clove The night was still young The pulse in my temple Lick your glossy lips A bright Allegro tempo Moving to the sway of your hips I don't ask you why you left me Twenty years and what's the dif You may just be a fiction, honey But all that's left is hot summer sans serif We danced to Belle and Sebastian We danced to Arab Strap Those Scottish fucks are strapping The memory is a trap The pulse in my temple Lick your glossy lips A bright Allegro tempo Moving to the sway of your hips Two AM afterparties My face is just a blur Narrow stairs and narrow memories How can you be sure The doubt that makes you queasy A track of sliding doors We fought for no good reason Hot summer nights no more The pulse in my temple Lick your glossy lips A bright Allegro tempo Moving to the sway of your hips
2.
Holy Lights Unholy Rites Hot Summer Nights Cock Fights Pilgrimage To the holy fire Leverage To Heaven aspire Bow before your God How'd you get so hot Holy light Righteous fight Tame the beast Honourary feast Old Testament Drug-induced stint Bound in top grain Holy cow refrain Bow before your God How'd you get so hot Licked by the flame Never quite the same Always fade away To rise again someday Teach a man to sing He won't eat a thing Music feeds the soul A fire in the hole Bow before your God How'd you get so hot Holy Lights Unholy Rites Hot Summer Nights Cock Fights
3.
Trashcan Sinatras Primal Scream Frightened Rabbit's Death Dream Aidan Moffatt and Malcolm Middleton Arab Strap, Looper, Belle & Sebastian Kathryn Joseph Out Lines The Twilight Sad Mogwai song in a Levi's ad Laurie Cameron sings Robbie Burns Roddy Woomble All These Words Bring me back To the islands Bring me back To the Highlands Interview Music by Idlewild Del Amitri Simple Minds I would walk five hundred miles To see the blue flashing light Young Fathers The Phantom Band The Vaselines Franz Ferdinand Django Django Snow Patrol Shirley Manson Admiral Fallow Calvin Harris Cocteau Twins The KLF Edwin Collins Well I never met a girl like you Or the Ancients of Moo Moo Chvrches The Jesus and Mary Chain Annie Lennox kissing in the rain Camera Obscura RIP The Reindeer Section Tired Pony Bring me back To the islands Bring me back To the Highlands The Spook School sing in binary Scottish gender fluidity Teenage Fanclub Biffy Clyro Fatherson and Dananananaykroyd We Were Promised Jet Packs Glasvegas Soup Dragons The Birthday Suit The Beta Band Take me back to Scotland Bring me back To the islands Bring me back To the Highlands
4.
Adelaide 02:43
Down by the Mississippi Lying in the grass Spring peepers and cicadas Echo in the dusk Dogs playing in the rain Trilliums in the park in bloom West of here a new Eden Resting from dark til noon Ottawa Valley Rail Hiking to the moon Old Mill of Kintail Nineteenth century room You deserve an Adelaide Well played, well played Watching the rapids Of the river go by Life it all happens While I'm wondering why Down by the Mississippi Lazy canoes Drifting and dipping I put my arm around you You deserve an Adelaide Well played, well played
5.
Serial Lover 03:35
I never loved you I couldn't even love myself No Take the notes from the old shoe box Put them all in brand new locks Smoke outside in dying light Compulsively swiping right Capricious youth in an hourglass Time ran out, you can't turn back Perfection is the real flaw Morning light feels raw Oooh I never loved you I couldn't even love myself No Last time the night we had a chance Thirty years a high school dance An awkward time before the web A week to watch our love ebb Holding onto paper confessions Without the need for hard questions I kept my feelings to myself And never did that serve me well Moved away and never came back I wanted to resent you but couldn't hack it There was too much lust in my heart Like a grave of lovers never apart I was already dead without your laugh No explanation for the missing half Just a half-forgotten task And an answer to a question I never asked I never loved you I couldn't even love myself No Obsession does funny things Turns to fiction songs I sings A rumination of immature noise Was I still just boys being boys Burn the notes in the fire They're just paper from a good ol' liar I could have been a thousand times kinder I don't need a gentle reminder I never loved you I couldn't even love myself No
6.
The Camp 02:00
Knock on wood Knock on wood Knock on wood Knock on wood Knock on wood Lights went out but we had the stars Dying embers like the taillights of your car You wouldn't even know everything had changed It was just like the good ol' days Knock on wood Knock on wood The camp did what it could Knock on wood Knock on wood Knock on wood Knock on wood We all wanted it good We all wanted it good We all wanted it good
7.
Serpent Time 04:21
Venomous highway To the promised land A lonely pilgrim In the desert sand Pop culture Will surely ascend Elevate me now Baby I've got the bends It's serpent time It weaves through your life Like a shadow of a memory You can't quite find It's serpent time Tongue's out to taste A flicker of the past You won't look at my face Serpentine colours Constrict like a belt Don't say I love you If it's not how you felt Three jacks And the nine of cups Ouroboros Eating themselves up It's serpent time It weaves through your life Like a shadow of a memory You can't quite find It's serpent time Tongue's out to taste A flicker of the past You won't look at my face I know your regrets You wear them like a badge In the heat of the catch Why were you so sad? You shed your skin Like an unruly guest What was your sin How could I have guessed? It's serpent time It weaves through your life Like a shadow of a memory You can't quite find It's serpent time Tongue's out to taste A flicker of the past You won't look at my face
8.
Green grow The hedge fund row The canopy company The prophets don't know I planted seeds In the original dirt I gathered the weeds When they wilted, I hurt Green grow The lawns of hell When you get down below Through the natural well I germinated The great forest floor Sticky sap waited Til you drained it for more Cultivation by the Christian man I'm a celebration of sea and land I am doing all that I can To be free Fertilization At the beginning of it all You didn't want to wait To see the fall The bigger the hubris The louder we cheer The only way through this Is through the fear Cultivated by the Christian man I'm a celebration of sea and land I am doing all that I can To be free I thought I was raised right Til I knew I was wrong There was no epiphany Just the words of a song You think a loud voice Will cut through the hate The illusion of choice While you just wait and wait You don't know shit But what you been told You're not learning You're just getting old Sit in the garden All by yourself Feeling bad About how you felt Cultivated by the Christian man I'm a celebration of sea and land I am doing all that I can To be free
9.
Raised a pagan Made a widow What did you do To seal the deal You couldn't help yourself Just an outsider Far away from home No more sacrifices But how do you feel How do you feel Give up your birthright You put up a good fight Seldom angry It doesn't serve you anymore No more prayers But still you kneel Bare Nothing brings them back You can't erase mistakes Someone knows Someone still hates It was only ever gonna be too late Give up your birthright You put up a good fight
10.
Henry 02:55
Worshipped in whispers Since the dawn of time An oral tradition Passed down the line Worshipped in whispers Since the dawn of time An oral tradition Passed down the line Tricks and tips on how to die Go underground Still come out the other side But never found Every name obliterates Only fools leave a trace You don't believe in fate A purpose you can't disgrace Tricks and tips on how to die Treated like a deity Treated to the best You boast your piety And fuck all the rest No one wants you here You're just an unwelcome guest Respect is not the same as fear And you're just a pest Worshipped in whispers Since the dawn of time An oral tradition Passed down the line
11.
Dressed up in pencil skirt Feel like such a flirt French braid in yr hair Put a little barrette in there Take a drive down to the beach Sand in your feet and toes between Put the top down Race across town Book time for a Mani Pedi Perpetually getting ready Something always going on Put some fancy clothes on Just like when you play with dolls String bikinis and cat calls Macho men with no balls Winter, spring, summer, fall
12.
Grey Things 03:20
Little grey matter Has a mind of its own Not entirely a black hole But dark enough to be alone The depression sucks you in Like an undertow Not entirely unwelcome But dark enough to be alone Sometimes I embrace the grey things Sometimes they surprise I don't need to win a lot Just enough to survive and let it ride A little ugly on the inside And jaded from the past And never had a false hope That any of this would last Little grey matter Has a mind of its own Not entirely a black hole But can't leave well enough alone Nah Sometimes I am the bad guy Other times I don't know what that means Every time I come for you Every time I bleed Little grey matter Has a mind of its own Not entirely a black hole But can't leave well enough alone
13.
Boogaloo 03:02
I could say meaningful things to you Boogaloo You want truth, I got the truth Boogaloo Boogaloo So much pain, what do you do What do you do What do you do Boogaloo Righteous attitude too Boogaloo Boogaloo I could talk about being hot and cold You want truth, that's what you told Efforts wasted on you You do what you want to do Boogaloo Boogaloo
14.
Make money from trees Rob yourself for the real fees Thrusters fly you to the moon Blusters try to get me soon Not falling for the lies Not staring at the skies Make money from trees Rob yourself for the real fees Earth fantasies are huge Dirt and sun in the news Every power sustainable Resources all drainable Make money from trees Rob yourself for the real fees No regrets, no dreams Earth fantasies
15.
Kin Tales 02:39
Nothing's worse Than knowing the truth Nothing looks good Wearing a lie Fam cuz you love em Someone you give a damn Kin cuz you hold em Don't need questionin Truth's not in a tale Secret's not in a song You missed the point Always wrong Frame it Any which way like Doesn't change the facts Or erase the fight Nothing hurts When you do no good Nothing works Like it should Nothing's worse Than knowing the truth Nothing looks good Wearing a lie
16.
Did I trade in My mess of memories for this myth? Running up behind the train Never close the rift Every turn a dead end Dedicated team but not your friend Every choice a deafening noise All you boys lower your voice Did I turn left When I should have been right Chasing a dying art Further from the light Every turn a dead end Dedicated team but not your friend Every choice a deafening noise All you boys lower your voice Did I trade in My first blood for this mouth Look at this smile, it's been a mask for a while The monster inside don't let the inside out If you learn a lesson the lesson is this Every turn is a dream you miss Every turn a dead end Dedicated team but not your friend Every choice a deafening noise All you boys lower your voice
17.
Shame shame For the evils you bring Cut me right up Cuz I want to believe Can't fake a death Kicked in the teeth Shame shame We all have a vice Shame shame I don't have to be nice Perfectly mannered Best foot forward Always mattered Never sordid Gut me to know My inner secrets You can't have my soul But I can't keep it Shame shame For the evils you bring Evils you bring Shame shame We all have a vice Shame shame I don't have to be nice Shame shame Shame shame I don't have to be nice
18.
Didn't you just want somebody to love? Didn't you just want a crystal ball? Didn't you just say that you needed my touch? Didn't we almost have it all? The crux of the matter was your choice You couldn't make concessions make you weak You should have listened to my voice Now the outcome is bleak Didn't you just want somebody to love? Didn't you just want somebody to love? Didn't you just want somebody to love? Well here I am All the places you have been Didn't you ever look within? Didn't you look past all my sin? Didn't you let me in again? All the tour twilight hour You stayed in shadows like a coward Don't want a spotlight on your life It cuts like a knife and it don't feel right Didn't you just want somebody to love? Didn't you just want somebody to love? Didn't you just want somebody to love? Well here I am
19.
Down to the quarry For a rocky collab Reach for something But there was nothing to grab The beasts were gone Just left ghosts Whisper in their places In the waves on the coast I've forgotten Half the lies I buried the rest To forgive all these guys To sleep on a fantasy Perchance to dream I didn't come all this way To not be seen Twinkle twinkle little reprieve Step into the light Show me how to believe That you were right I've forgotten Half the lies I buried the rest To forgive all these guys Caked to your lips Baked to your smile A mission accomplished The first in a little while Bones in a basket Stones in a pie No answers if you don't ask it Why oh why I've forgotten Half the lies I buried the rest To forgive all these guys
20.
Swan Song 03:02
Feel it feel it Coming for you Oh you thought this was the end You pushed to be the first But no one is your friend No one feels the thirst You feel it feel it You feel it feel it The saddest part of all It just goes on and on And on and on and on 'til you fall What could have gone wrong? You feel it feel it You feel it feel it feel it This is a lullabye for friends The sleep can never quench the thirst There is no real end You could never be first You feel it feel it You feel it feel it You feel it feel it You feel it feel it You feel it feel it You feel it feel it The baddest way to fall Two rights will make a wrong You could have had it all Forever, on and on and on You feel it feel it You feel it You feel it feel it You feel it feel it You feel it feel it You feel it feel it You feel it

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Twenty songs about spiritual and existential angst.

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released July 1, 2022

Produced, written, recorded, and performed by Jacob Earl.

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Jacob Earl Mississippi Mills, Ontario

No Gender. Queer Songs.

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