The Hoods

by Jacob Earl

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1.
my patterns and habits they have robbed of me something I cannot take back easily the ability to be spontaneous to leap without looking and remember what I was dreaming and where it took me crack it open light the fire I want to forget and perspire Melt my mind into the grass I’m reflected in the glass your quirks and kinks they have drawn in me closer to you, i sink until we’re no longer two the space between us separates the trinity between zero and infinity funny how I remember you from long before we ever knew each other crack it open in the mire growing up, we’ll forget when we retire decomposed into the grass reflected forever in the past what will we do When we no longer grow true? What will we do? what will we do? your shirts your shorts my taste for earth sports break break break it break it break it break it down for me darling break it down for me darling get back to basics step up and face me I’m not backing down And you’re not wearing that frown much longer i’m not going to play this game with you of finding out which one of us is stronger you make the choice i win or lose you drew this line in the sand i didn’t have a hand in this i’ll deny it up on high you didn’t ask my opinion i’m not amused you drew the bruises i don’t get to chooses stop this trap i’m not falling for it i got grand, I got grand i’m just stalling the curtain from falling i don’t when it’s coming down the pity is we both will drown and you’ll still be wearing that frown let’s make the most of tonight if we don’t get to see daylight we won’t get to fight I don’t wanna fight crack it open in the sleight-of-hand grow up grow up in wonderland turn it from waste into a wonderland i’m not backing down i’m not backing down i’m not backing down we gonna grow old together
2.
Eleanor 02:39
I was four, maybe five The first time I arrived At the three-bedroom flat On Eleanor Drive If I had a word for shitty If I knew the meaning of pity Would it have changed all of that; Would I still be in this city? I ruled the Eleanor paths My banana-seat schwinn kicked your ass Even if it was A rusty hand-me-down I was the jack to your jill Racing through the ‘80’s, down that hill Latch-key royalty of Eleanor We were crowned forever more I broke glass Just to hear it smash Just to see it shatter A million refractions in the grass We were broke, not broken Your words softly spoken All that chitter-chatter Is now in the past I ruled the Eleanor paths My banana-seat schwinn kicked your ass Even if it was A rusty hand-me-down I was the jack to your jill Racing through the ‘80’s, down that hill Latch-key royalty of Eleanor We were crowned forever more
3.
Mathematics 05:48
you took it all away all the pain i didn’t want took it all away replaced it caught me in your numbers you made me slumber you took it all away took it all away the pain I suffered each day you took it all away mathematics are so precise the feeling is priceless you took it all away you took it all away you took it all away took it all away you took it all away i’ve got nothing left to say you took it all away you took it all away one two three four am I just a number? gatefold cardboard cookie cutter? surrogate for the one who doesn’t love you sure that i will be your number two? that ain’t me, no that ain’t me i don’t want to be puppet sitting on the side third wheel on your rocky ride you have the fun while I abide and take it in stride you took it all away you took it all away i’m so grateful you took it all away i can’t ever repay you for taking it all away you made it worthwhile by taking it all away took it all away by taking it all away
4.
Lost Marbles 09:12
seems like a century ago out on the school baseball diamond we’d pick out our favourite shooters and arrange our backups, straight lined up sometimes we’d have a pre-round of tradesies and make sure we had our favourites in our back pockets this was play-for-keepsies this was a game of hawkeye, not hock-it we’d draw a circle in the gravel and draw lots to see who squared off we’d negotiate what we were playing for and lay down the rules for the round this was hardcore gravel gambling out behind the public school playground this was hardcore gravel gambling we had the grounds i lost my marbles when I wasn’t paying attention some asshole kicked them over and yelled out “scramblies” i wanted to scramble his brain over and over again with my fists but most of the players had honour and returned the marbles to their rightful owner i lost my marbles seems like a century ago out on the school baseball diamond i lost my marbles ‘cause i turned my back for a moment i lost my marbles seems like a century ago with hardly a moment’s notice i lost my marbles, i lost my marbles I wasn’t paying attention so i lost my marbles… i lost… i lost… i lost my… i wasn’t paying attention someone kicked over my marbles scattered across the playground i scrambled to get my marbles some of them were gone for good seems like a century ago out on the school baseball diamond
5.
The Hoods 05:13
in the hoods growing up was not an easy ride i developed different colours behind which to hide and I lost myself so much in the façade the colours were no longer part of a charade every face became a part of me every facet chained a heart to me the place remained a hazy memory i changed that pace before it made me crazy blue and yellow when I was young vertical stripes up to the sun the zipper went up and the zipper went down fun was never far from a frown perfect for spring and autumn runs and hanging out with my chums i used to have a lot of ‘em man we had so much fun soccer and hockey, tag and hide’n’seek we could play all day, we didn’t have to speak laughing was the only communication required running around until we were too tired blue and yellow when I was most joyous but all that changed, it always does growing up out of boyhood I somehow lost that love jet black and oversized also with a zipper and pockets for surprises take me through my crisis years absorb and hold all my fears left on a rock stage seven years ago someone else is enjoying it now I hope i replaced it just last month; an impulse buy on my lunch break lest I forget to mention the two greys and I still wear one of them today the first replaced the old black robe left on that rock stage years ago it was my new zippered cloak with a black vest brother to sharpen the look the second was the gift that keeps on giving the principal piece of attire that I live in the patchouli-scented pullover I go outside in the perfect piece of clothing to hide in I’ve always done the best that I could To hide behind those coloured hoods

about

First in a trilogy of EPs released in 2008. Semi-autobiographical stories about death, love, nostalgia, and childhood.

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released March 3, 2008

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Jacob Earl Ottawa, Ontario

Independent DIY queer producer/songwriter/photog.

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