Tigers

by Jacob Earl

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    Tigers CD, two-colour silkscreen original artwork by Jacob Earl on disc face, in black slip sleeve.

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1.
seasons followed one another we always swallowed one another no matter how big the lie I’m doing dishes for your mother I’m moving furniture for your father no matter how hard i try i couldn't sew the tear together if i wanted to even in the moments of disorder, i still wanted you... oh standing at the bottom we were all tightly knit together bit by bit you all disappeared from the picture reason came to replace passion and you got obsessed with the fashion and colour turned to black & white you're out of focus & receding and this film is proceeding with or without the dialogue i write i couldn't put the moments in order if i wanted to it's not a question of whether i wanted to... standing at the bottom we were all tightly knit together bit by bit you all disappeared from the picture
2.
Gills 03:15
I breathe in the dirt through these worn out carbon filters I've got my health I've got my money and my looks That every important catchy hook I've got my gills I'll take you down to ocean Spend days and days and days and days and days Doing nothing but breathing undercover When we finally emerge We'll be in love with one another I crawl on all fours Through these mud-soaked halls and corridors I've got my wealth I've got my honey My crooked smile That ever important guile I've got my gills I'll take you down to the parking lot We'll play on the concrete Get the grit on our hands Get as scraped up as we can Spend days and days Spend days and days and days Doing nothing but breathing undercover When we finally emerge We'll be in love with one another Part of one another Spend days and days and days (we'll be part of one another) Doing nothing but breathing undercover When we finally emerge We'll be in love with one another With these mud soaked gills I've got my health I've got my drugs I've got my pills I've got my gills
3.
We were driving down You at the wheel I'm doing the rolling And everything's in slow motion The idioms were bounced around The voices get lost in the crowd Summer guests that came and went In this small midtown apartment What did it all amount to? What did we count on? What did we count on? What did we count on? What did we count on? The idioms were bounced around The voices get lost in the crowd Maybe something happened for once Turned around and see that you had made a difference Maybe something happened for once Turned around and see that you had made a difference Maybe something happened for once Turned around and see that you had made a difference We were driving in a summer storm Me at the wheel You doing the sparking Now check the battery's fine
4.
I totally understand When you talk about that moment It's a lot more important Than sleep or food sometimes Why I stayed up to morning For three days straight I had to get it I had to get it just right Coffees, muscles, drug trips Too many late nights Perfect moments come and sleep be damned Mind you wanted this too, and don't deny it I think I would I think I would marry you Tigers in Edgartown I'd be there too Sometimes you had a secret wish You told me you wanted to be completely oblivious I did not see the ocean 'Til 1998 Before I met you We would have to wait Come in the clouds Displace all my fears Whisper those mindless Philosofuck words in my ear
5.
Athoos 04:58
Well ain’t you always egging me on? How you come around lately a lot, With your fake plastic smile And penchant for denial After being gone away for so long And don’t you always look like the innocent one? The innocent one Did you paint on that demeanor With your blush and eyeliner? It shows Oh trust me, it shows In how easily it comes and goes for you When the telephone sat quiet Far too long How I stared at the buttons And thought maybe I was the one Who did something wrong? And finally saying goodbye Finding this emotional high Was as hard as it was easy To separate the truth from all of your lies Oh how you lied – lied so well And I couldn’t guess any better than you could tell The truth if you tried If you tried hard enough, you still couldn’t turn back time I’m not interested in knowing what could have been If you’d have only changed your mind
6.
Laydown 04:01
Everyone lay your bad intentions down Everyone operates the same way Operator has cut the lines Deadened the airwaves Maybe in this silence We will hear ourselves think Tragically it's not so cut and dry For every rule I follow It's cuz I've already broken it A hundred times before Curious perserverence The disease is non-invasive It simply makes you lie down and die It simply makes me a slave to the grind Mr and Mrs this is your life 2.5 kids and a divorced wife Tragically, this is what you wanted Your shit-eating smiles cannot tell a lie Mr and Mrs this is your life Tragically this is what you wanted Everyone lay their intentions down Everyone lay your bad intentions down Everyone operates the same way Operator has cut the lines Cut the lines away Dead is the airwaves So maybe our hopes could stay Maybe we'll all start talking again Your shit-eating smiles don't have to go away
7.
Lily 02:42
Tar taste on your lips They are quiveringing quickly Every second that I think of you Lily white in black Only the faintest hint That you're only even there Traces down your back Tells me a story About how you feel about yourself And how you feel about me As if I wouldn't know Lily white in your mind Only as different As you every described Lily soft as your skin Only as sweet as cinammon And that doesn't even give it Justice How you feel about me As if I wouldn't know Lily Oh, Lily Lily Lily
8.
Eye 04:54
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder And I said beauty is in the eye of the beholder And I said beauty is in the eye of the beholder I see right through you I wanna scold you I go right past you I wanna run back to you These legs are tired From walking too far for you I said beauty is in the eye of the beholder And I said beauty is in the eye of the beholder Beauty Beauty is in the eye of the beholder I said beauty is in the eye of the beholder (I wanna hold you) Beauty is in the eye of the beholder Can I take you Can I take you far away from this? Will you give me just one kiss? I can see right through you I pass you I want to run back to you Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
9.
Thruthevines 04:27
Creeping thru the moonlight and vines All you see's your smile Shed all these confines File it under "don't ever read this file" Creeping thruthevines Met in the gutter last night Somewhere between melancholy And final fantasy Maybe not in real life But definitely our reality It's definitely reality Somewhere across the ocean But closer than these creeping vines Where did we open up to the notion That we're giving each other signs? Creeping thru the moonlight and vines We found each other in each other's arms And don't everything seem just fine? Was there cause for alarm? Somewhere across the ocean But closer than these creeping vines Where did we get the notion That we're giving each other signs? Creeping thruthevines
10.
Ourstory 04:46
Slowly is everything moving by But I don't mind No I don't mind I think maybe I like Being the one Who's left behind After all this time I still don't know why She's flown a thousand miles For every one That I've walked Told a thousand stories For every word That I've talked She'll fly thousands more For me For me Our story here, now It's raining And everything's a story We met along the border She took my hands in hers And we walked back home Lay for awhile Talked about the trip here Smoked a joint and Fooled around Yes, we listened to some jazz Got a little too fucked up For our own good And when it all came apart Clothes strewn off Walls were down Slowly is everything going by But I don't mind Our story is here Our story is now Our story is here Our story is now Our story is here Our story is now It doesn't ever stop, no Our story is here Our story is now Our story is here Our story is now Our story is here Our story is now Our story is here Our story is now
11.
On a Hunch 02:29
It's your mission Based on loosely drawn-out plans And everything fits, nicely As long as we're relaxed You don't have time for me The goals are quite clear And all the things we went together We have little to fear On a hunch I'd say we're doing just fine I'll scratch your back If you scratch mine It's a shame It's a shame We had to go sour We went so well together Like sugar and flour The might-have-beens Are no use to us now We both know what could have been But neither of us knew how On a hunch I'd say we're doing just fine I'll watch my back If you watch mine
12.
She's waiting for the answer It's a long time coming Yeah she's waiting for the answer And I can't even speak Oh she's waiting for the answer She's in the very wrong place There's nothing to say It's only a face And all of it's made up And all of it's made up And all of it's made up It ends just ok From nothing to words It stops, becomes something They were just waiting None of it hurts She's still waiting for the answer There's still nothing there And if she ever got her answer Would she still be there? And all of it's made up And all of it's made up And all of it's made up And all of it's made up And all of it's made up And all of it's made up And everything's quiet But a big loud mess And suddenly it's quiet And everything's a mess And everything's quiet But everything's a mess And everything is quiet It's suddenly a mess Everything's quiet Everything's a mess Everything's quiet and a mess Everything's quiet / nothing makes sense Nothing seems to make any sense Everything's quiet and mess It's all live action All made up on the spot None of it's choreographed
13.
South 03:18
Going South, oh yeah I'm going South Going South for winter Travelled many miles together All in my head Left nothing behind No I'm going South Now it's summer And you are gone Days quicken But the sound gets long Ring the chimes To call you back Ring the chimes To call you back to me I'm going back South South South Going back South Going back South Going South I'm going South Now it's spring And you are gone again And there's rain Falling down on me It's falling Gone for good Kiss Going South
14.
Trader 04:54
If you go to sleep tonight And you wake up tomorrow You may find yourself to be a stranger If you don't hold on to your life And cherish every detail You just may find someone else taking over Trader I have to win it back And I don't even know how Trader get it back on track I won't suffer from what I know now If you go to sleep tonight And you wake up tomorrow You may find yourself to be a stranger If you don't hold on to life Love every detail Someone else'll just take it over Trader I have to win it back And I don't even know how Trader get it back on track I won't suffer from what I know now Trader I have to win it back
15.
Tao 02:53
You were always connected To your inner peace When I got angry and ran head on into the wall You somehow picked me up after the fall You were always the Tao And I was the Te Somehow that got switched around Between the night and day You say go with the flow You say wu sei I say I’m too bound By my need to stand my ground Sometimes anger is the only way You were always respected In your inner circle
16.
Slumber 04:30
You said "come over, We'll have a slumber party We'll smoke a lot And laugh at things not funny" So I packed up my bags And made you a CD Something so you'll always think of me Something so you will always think about me Waking up beside you was beautiful Wanting this was totally new You told me: "We are not machines We are warm bodies We slumber through the time we should be talking"
17.
You're only clawing at the walls Cuz someone told you up was better You need to come back down There's nothing more home than this bed on the floor We made a spaceship of our sheets Fuck the captain's fleet We're going off on our own adventure Goodnight Goodnight The stars are homing in now We watched them dance from dusk 'til daylight Finally fell aslumber The sheets are all asunder Finally fell aslumber Goodnight Goodnight Goodnight Goodnight You're only clawing at the walls Cuz someone told you up was better You need to come back down There's nothing more home than this bed on the floor We made a spaceship of our sheets Fuck the captain's fleet We're going off on our own adventure Fuck the captain's fleet We're going off on our own adventure Fuck the captain's fleet We're going off on our own adventure Goodnight Fuck the captain's fleet Goodnight We're going off on our own adventure Goodnight Fuck the captain's fleet Goodnight We're going off on our own adventure ... You belong in a heartbeatmotion Sailing the ocean With your conquistador The fair ferry's fare is fair, fairies everywhere Make sure we safely get to the other shore The other shore Billions of years ago I was a cell I learned to walk and talk By living through hell You belong to a heartbeatmotion You belong sailing the ocean Just a week ago You were in a coma I woke you up From under your spell You belong in a heartbeatmotion You belong Under my spell Today I called it quits I don't like the way that sits Today I called it quits I don't like the way that it sits You belong in a heartbeatmotion You belong sailing my ocean You belong in a heartbeatmotion You belong under my spell

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Official debut solo album from Jacob Earl, originally released on CD in 2002. Lofi bedroom recordings about love and longing.

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released May 9, 2002

Jacob Earl - all sounds.

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Jacob Earl Ottawa, Ontario

Independent DIY queer producer/songwriter/photog.

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