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Do You Want To Save Me?

from I Disappear In The City by Jacob Earl

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lyrics

Do you want to save me?
I'm not sure how

I improved myself
With a lot of self-help shlock
I read the internet
Til ten o'clock
I stayed up late
To procrastinate
When I close my eyes
I start dreading my fate

My dreams are a twisted
Version of my youth
I relive my regrets
And don't learn any truth
Vividly passing through
Versions of my Id
I come to resent you
And everything I did

I changed my name
To escape my own soul
But my brain is still the same
It just gapes like a hole
There is no pill
That fixes this void
I just fill it with the the will
Of the pricks I avoid

Do you want
To save me now?
Maybe you can't
I gave you no how
Do you want
To save me now?
Maybe you can't
I gave you no how

I waffled my goals
And coasted on my laurels
Baffled the trolls
By being my own horror
Sour grapes
For my own fruits and labours
A powerful escape
From my own behaviours

My teacher once professed
I'd make an excellent dad
Well I taught her a lesson
The vasectomy I had
I dropped out of Uni
Couldn't stand the critique
I stopped feeling puny
But I couldn't plug the leak

Do you want
To save me now?
Maybe you can't
I gave you no how
Do you want
To save me now?
Maybe you can't
I gave you no how

credits

from I Disappear In The City, released March 22, 2019

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Jacob Earl Mississippi Mills, Ontario

No Gender. Queer Songs.

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