For the Last Time

from Had We Met In Another Life by Jacob Earl

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your brown hair
like braided barbwire
serrated, hardwired
faded, far and too tired
you travelled a million miles
to watch it stain my skin

with my own blood pricked from within
my red and celibate twin

but i digress
and i trust you know the rest
the context is new
but the story is old
the words were stone true
before you turned so cold;

you are down there, down there
feeling so old
and quite the sight to behold

fingers flexed against the floor
carving your initials on the door
you painted yourself so poor
a portrait relevant no more
than i wanted to die...

but down on the frozen lake
where we spent our winter break
a solstice spread out like a dreamscape
you still wanted to escape
and i wanted only
to sustain the lie.

so i lie down in the snow
where the forgiving branches grow
and shield my eyes
from the white blinding light
far above the slow-moving bough
and cawing crow...

you made me this way
like a light-savings day;
falling back in time
to escape the crime
an hour for every
dour-faced lover i betrayed.

now enveloped by the ice and snow
i finally pay the penance i know
i deserve
your twin white curves
the last thing on my mind
when i leave this winter behind

for the last time
for the last time
these frozen lies i don’t describe
for the last time...


from Had We Met In Another Life, track released January 31, 2010
jacob earl




Jacob Earl Ottawa, Ontario

Independent DIY queer producer/songwriter/photog.

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