after all the cities crumbled and fell – victims of their own apathy and ignorance – there was a beautiful age. an age of green and gold and harmonious living.
i wished you were there with me. i wanted to share it all with you. but i could not find you at first, and i wondered if you had finally left me for good.
still, i rejoiced in the peace and prosperity that had returned to the land. we lived in lush rainforests, and built majestic temples to our gods. it was a wonderous and mythical time, and every day felt like a glorious new rebirth. i was young and strong, and full of lust.
my family grew large and wise, and ever-powerful. we expanded the realm of our beautiful cities and shrines. eventually, we encountered other large families… some became our enemies.
i had seen so much war and murder before, i just wanted to ignore it; pretend that it was not there. i wanted to drown in love, have it suffocate me, and fill my ears so i could not smell the burning flesh, hear the bloody screams.
i ran away from my family, into the forests, to be alone. i wanted solitude and peace. i withdrew and became a hermit. for years i saw no one but the birds and the apes, the bugs and the reptiles.
then one day i was hunting, and i saw you in the forest. i knew it was you right away. it was as though all my memories resurfaced at once, crashing over me in a wave of nostalgia and nausea. i fell to my knees, and i did not know what to do. for i saw that you were with your family, your tribe… the enemy.
i ran back to my family. i was practically a stranger to them. they barely recognized me, but they took me back in. they clothed and fed me, and nursed me to health.
i recounted my tale of meeting you in the forest, and how torn and confused i was about my ambivalent feelings for you. should i approach you? what should i say to you? would you remember me? would you still love me? would you hate me because of who i was now? and why did i have all these reservations?
my sister had these wise words for me:
lyrics
salt on your skin
a honeyed promise
and we’re here again
just like you promised
lip locked, tongue-tied
pulled every which way but right
and if i followed you down
would you, would you abide…
i am what you lose
and find again and again
wrapped around you tightly
binding your pain
and i am obsession
and strength, and desire
i am what you make me
again and again…
lip locked, tongue-tied
pulled every which way but right
and if i followed you down
would you, would you abide…
you are the heartbreak i hide
the ache i persist
the need i know
the want i resist
salt on my skin
a honeyed promise
and here i am again
just like you promised
lip locked, tongue-tied
pulled every which way but right
and if i followed you down
would you, would you abide…
credits
from Reincarnations,
released October 2, 2017
Amber Earl - lyrics.
The Chicago wunderkind's debut album is half lo-fi hip-hop pianos and breakneck drumming, half polished pop songs full of orchestral arrangements and whimsical but melancholic melodies. Bandcamp Album of the Day Nov 23, 2020
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