Both The Beginning And The End

by Jacob Earl

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about

Both The Beginning And The End is an anthology of songs spanning almost 20 years of albums. It is 10 brand new, acoustic renditions of songs from Jacob Earl's catalogue. The entire album was performed and recorded with one acoustic guitar and vocals.

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released May 5, 2020

Produced, written, recorded, and performed by Jacob Earl.

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all rights reserved

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Jacob Earl Ottawa, Ontario

Independent DIY queer producer/songwriter/photog.

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Track Name: We Have Lost Contact
you and i, we used to click like a light
and if i ever believed
in a thing called a soul
and that two of these things
could together fill a hole
you certainly would have fit that mold
just right

now we have lost contact
from all the notions we held dear
and broken every unspoken contract
written in our tears
thrown away all our emotions
but for the fear

we won’t ever recover from what we have lost
we refuse to even acknowledge the true cost

this asphalt used to be green
it stings my shins and scrapes my knees
and shreds my jeans
this ravine where i loved you
used to be so clean

we have lost contact with the truth
in favour of a cheaper substitute

i have loved every crease of your skin
your dirty nails
your quivering chin
like a faded memory of silence
we once thought of as sin
this anger has now carved me out inside
the asphalt meeting my feet
is the only contact that i don’t hide
anymore

we won’t ever recover from what we have lost
we refuse to even acknowledge the true cost
Track Name: Had We Met In Another Life
on the anniversary of your death
nothing much remarkable happened to me
i felt no immortal breath
no whisper of your presence, no sudden spirituality

too many years to count have passed me by
clear-cutting the memories like a bad disease
i stopped resisting it and i don’t know why
now i just do whatever i please...

had we met in another life
maybe the cliché simply wouldn’t apply
had we met before the dying age
maybe we would still be on the same page

on the anniversary of the day we met
nothing much happened that i want to talk about
i’m not gonna bore you by listing my regrets
one more crappy list that’s too long to count

i missed you horribly, and couldn’t wait to tell you
all about my dreams
i momentarily forgot, in the thick of it all,
that you were no longer here with me

am i the only one
who sees the irony here?
i should be the missing one
i’m the one with the fear

had we met in another life
i’d admit that you were right
right about everything
it wasn’t even worth the fight
Track Name: Eve
Eve I love you, I have loved you forever
Eve I love you, you don't even know
Eve I love you, I have loved you forever
Eve I love you, you don't even know

Some would say you are a mother to me
A sounding board and a shoulder to cry on
Some would say you are my sister lovely
Shall I protect you from peril and pain?

I never had a mother or sister
I didn't know there was something missing
I still don't want a definition for you
Make you role-play, I have nothing to gain

Eve I love you, I have loved you forever
Eve I love you, you don't even know
Eve I love you, I have loved you forever
Eve I love you, you don't even know

All these riches that my father left me
Eve, I am still so hungry and poor
All these filthy believers surround me
I have no faith to give anymore

Eve I love you, I have loved you forever
Eve I love you, you don't even know
Eve I love you, I have loved you forever
Eve I love you, you don't even know

Bring me back to you, I want to love again
give me a chance to make things new
I helped destroy the old world, old fears
I'd like to try to create something too

Eve I love you, I have loved you forever
Eve I love you, you don't even know
Eve I love you, I have loved you forever
Eve I love you, you don't even know

Eve I love you, I have loved you forever
Eve I love you, you don't even know
Eve I love you, I have loved you forever
Eve I love you, you don't even know
Track Name: Hello, Mate
Hello mate
Meet me at the ending
Hello love
Am I trending?
Hello mate
Meet me at the ending
Hello love
Am I trending?
Hello mate
Meet me at the ending
Hello love
Am I trending?
Hello mate
Meet me at the ending
Hello love

I don't wanna do this
Art anymore
I just take it and ruin it
Trying to keep score
In desperation
Filling the hole
It's empty sensations
For an empty soul

I don't want to feel it
Rap about my pain
No mystery to this shit
And nothing more to gain
Old people know
What I hope to behold
Whether I get to go on
And reach my goals

Hello mate
Meet me at the ending
Hello love
Am I trending?
Hello mate
Meet me at the ending
Hello love
Am I trending?

I didn't want to make it
Have this career
It's all my effort not to quit
Loathing rolled in fear
I put on a sweater
I put on a mask
Life doesn't get better
Just a string of tasks

I don't want to be me
Stuck in this skin
It leaves a mark, you see
Like a secret sin
Stuck in a body
I didn't choose pain
No apologies
Every body the same

Hello mate
Meet me at the ending
Hello love
Am I trending?
Hello mate
Meet me at the ending
Hello love
Am I trending?

Shiver me timbre
A bit overused
A loose cannon
On a short fuse
A throbbing pulse
In my ears
The tinnitus of silence
For the rabbit fears

Hello mate
Meet me at the ending
Hello love
Am I trending?
Hello mate
Meet me at the ending
Hello love
Am I trending?
Track Name: Moral Fibre
Warhol Campbell childhood
Chiseled pistol, shoot; you should
Monster movie, really scared
Played a game of truth or dare

Boat shoes, tallboy, snapback
Best defense is a good attack
Out with the boys feeling bare
Bullies won't get outta your hair

Naked feelings of my guilt
Parallel to the home you built
I can't live up to that dream
The expectation I stay clean

Don't forget my betrayal
Deception was beyond the pale
Covered up with pretty myth
The lie you fell in love with

Better not to think about it
A lot of good that would do
Dust in the wind, dusk inside
Your deepest feelings felt so true

I wrote a little song about
Whether we had our whole life knit
How our fingers twine together
How are love got so lit

The better it gets, the slower I show
Every piece of moral fibre
Examining every piece, I go
I guess we couldn't get much higher

No one comes to the same conclusion
I made a side bet
The moral is a clever illusion
The rules left you soaking wet
Track Name: 24 Views Of Mount Fuji
seasons followed one another
we always swallowed one another
no matter how big the lie

I’m doing dishes for your mother
I’m moving furniture for your father
no matter how hard i try

i couldn't sew the tear together if i wanted to
even in the moments of disorder, i still wanted you... I did

standing at the bottom
we were all tightly knit together
bit by bit
you all disappeared from the picture

reason came to replace passion
and you got obsessed with the fashion
and colour turned to black & white

you're out of focus & receding
and this film is proceeding
with or without the dialogue i write

i couldn't put the moments in order if i wanted to
it's not a question of whether i wanted to... cuz I did

standing at the bottom
we were all tightly knit together
bit by bit
you all disappeared from the picture
Track Name: These Imperial Times
There I was, a misanthrope
Rejecting open arms
And here I am alone and older
Regretting all that harm

Oh horses
Yr messing with these forces
Oh horses
Yr messing with these forces

These friends I like to judge
Did they fall short of my expectations?
Their best was never good enough
So I pushed them all away

Capricorn mother
Oh lucky sin
Who's your hero now, old man?
You didn't look within

Oh horses
Yr messing with these forces
Oh horses
Yr messing with these forces

These Imperial Times
They caught us by surprise
We were so busy hoping
They didn't tear up the lies

Oh These Imperial Times
They caught us by surprise
We can say we didn't see them
Cuz we always turned our eyes

Oh horses
Yr messing with these forces
Oh horses
Yr messing with these forces
Track Name: Well
no i didn't say that
you put those words right in my mouth
and then ripped them out again
waved them around for all to see...

you say "i didn't start this"
i say "i didn't start this"
it seems nobody started this
it just welled up
it just welled up...
from somewhere inside

we walked out early
the party still went on
the lights left tracers
on the highway until dawn

you say "i didn't start this"
i say "i didn't start this"
it seems nobody started this
it just welled up
it just welled up...
from somewhere inside
from somewhere inside

hush...

Ok the eyes are taking over
read between the lines
i try to find your face in the dark
we're doing fine, we're doing fine

you say "i didn't start this"
i say "i didn't start this"
it seems nobody started this
it just welled up
it just welled up...
from somewhere inside

on my stereo disco mixer
the sounds come out all wrong
interpreted for a reason
sounds make me feel strong

you're feeling strong
we can't go on for long...
Track Name: Late Breaking News
this just in:
twenty more dead
from the suicide bomb
inside of your head
the sensational story
the moment you dread
when the truth is not muzzled
for the masses, spoon-fed

and Hollywood turns
the late-breaking news
into academy-winners
with four-star reviews
and we can just turn off
the pain if we choose
and nobody calls us
the killers

she tries to sleep
with shrapnel in her bed
and the barrel of a rifle
pointed at her kid
you and I are prisoners
of a much lesser pain
we just watch it on TV
a world away

and Hollywood turns
the late-breaking news
into academy-winners
with four-star reviews
and we can just turn off
the pain if we choose
and nobody calls us
the killers
Track Name: Trader
If you go to sleep tonight
And you wake up tomorrow
You may find yourself to be a stranger

If you don't hold on to your life
And cherish every detail
You just may find someone else taking over

Trader I have to win it back
And I don't even know how
Trader get it back on track
I won't suffer from what I know now

If you go to sleep tonight
And you wake up tomorrow
You may find yourself to be a stranger

If you don't hold on to life
Love every detail
Someone else'll just take it over

Trader I have to win it back
And I don't even know how
Trader get it back on track
I won't suffer from what I know now

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