The Joy

by Jacob Earl

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1.
03:22
You took away What I didn't even know I had The words to articulate Don't even make me mad Record another take If this one ain't so great You only live once But I can imitate The joy The joy There is a slice Where the meaning used to be At least I think Cuz maybe it fell between Record another take If this one ain't so great You only live once But I can imitate The joy The joy I have wallowed A sad excuse for a clown What's my excuse When I can't even drown There is a slice Where the joy used to be Maybe it's gone Maybe it's not in me Maybe I'm rotten Maybe I'm forgotten Record another take If this one ain't so great You only live once But I can imitate The joy The joy
2.
04:47
Why do you judge me Why do you judge me? This dance floor rocks Made of earth and mud It shakes my heart It shakes my knees I'm divided by the locks Like the channel of love Right to my heart I've got a heart disease Why do you judge me Why do you judge me? This misfit rose From Hell's wet fire Burnt at the heart Tech no desire I'm queen on prom night Opened Pandora's box Pitch black heart In the dancehall pyre Why do you judge me Why do you judge me? This technolove You are perfect make believe You make my heart Burst at the seams A parade of our lives Down a Boulevard of dreams You are a perfect Work of art Why do you judge me Why do you judge me? Why do I judge you Why do I judge you? You break me down Like a fractured beat Syncopated A frigid heat Nature calling Crush this cold concrete You are so perfect I weep Why do I judge you Why do I judge you?
3.
03:26
It's what I gotta be like I feel like You see why I can't explain When the feeling moves me Removes my Instinct This is a game It's what I gotta be like A free hike Sea lights A mountain range A billion aeons Neon Lean on A slow landscape Map my creases I cease to be Is this my final form? In the arms of sleep It's what I gotta be like Gripping Slipping Truth ripped me apart Squared me uniform Cuneiform Darkness A dying art Each choice I make It breaks me Cuts me Farther down To bone, muscle, Heart Hussle hard through Dirt and sound Map my creases I cease to be Is this my final form? In the arms of sleep The morning is a sliver A shiver I'm mourning The disease It left us so mortal Hurting More so Fragile ease I could have cut it Froze it In the moment Instinct took charge It ripped me apart Less My heart My lifeless heart Map my creases I cease to be Is this my final form? In the arms of sleep In the end When you disappeared As I feared With no surprise You were already Too far To stare Into your eyes My instincts abandoned Random Acts A mystery gift Cold clinical Trials Reviled That's all we have left Map my creases I cease to be Is this my final form? In the arms of sleep
4.
03:24
Princess A slip, a twist, a sigh In the forest Saying goodbye Dressed in yellow Dripping with sweat Gripping dirt We haven't yet met Dirt We haven't yet met The tiger, the liar The worm underground We all understand now Why you left town Celebration Became a haunted house built On a sentimental cavern To hide the price of all that guilt Lying prone And full of regret Gripping hope We haven't met yet We haven't yet met The tiger, the liar The worm underground We all understand now Why you left town Princess A slip, a twist, a sigh In the forest Saying goodbye Princess A slip, a twist, a sigh In the forest Saying goodbye Dressed in yellow Dripping with sweat Gripping dirt We haven't yet met

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A concept piece about happiness and depression, life and death.

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released November 11, 2017

Produced, written, arranged, and recorded by Jacob Earl.

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Jacob Earl Ottawa, Ontario

Independent DIY queer producer/songwriter/photog.

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